XXXV: An Interview with Annie

Greetings all. After a brief hiatus, here is the third and final installment of the interviews with the Watson children. Look for the 14-hour version of these interviews to be available on DVD, right on the shelf next to the David Frost interviews of Richard Nixon.

Dad: Annie I'm going to ask you some questions
Annie: I want some milk
Dad: Later. What is your favorite television Show?
Annie: Princess Sing-along’s [This is the name of a DVD I purchased three weeks ago which has been viewed approximately 149.7 times to date]
Maggie: Can you ask me questions Dad?
Dad: We already did yours, remember?
Maggie: No, not in the other day, now. Please dad please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
Dad: Later, ok?
Maggie: Pleeeeeeeeease?
Dad: Ok, I'll as you one question then back to Annie
Maggie: Tell me about my favorite TV show
Dad: What’s your favorite TV show
Maggie: Princess Sing-along’s
[sigh]
Dad: Annie, what is your favorite meal?
Annie: Princess Sing-along's (then throws ball at me while I'm typing)... I'm gonna do dat again [then she skips away]
Dad: Annie, get back here
Maggie: My favorite meal is McDonalds...... What smells?
Dad: Annie, what have you been doing this summer?
[Annie giggles then skips away again]
Dad: Annie, do you like going to the swimming pool
Maggie: I like to go to the beach
Annie: Yeah Oh yeah!
Dad: What else have you been doing this summer?
Annie: Princess sing-along's. Hold on.
Dad: Have you been playing?
Annie: Wif stickers.
Dad: What is your favorite thing to eat?
Annie: Princess Sing-along's
Dad: No, you can't keep saying that.
Annie: Shhhhhh! Be quiet.
Dad: Listen, what is your favorite game to play?
Annie: Shussh. Be quiet.
Dad: What are you going to do when Jimmy and Maggie go to school?
Annie: Princess Sing-along's. [This is probably an accurate answer for once]
Dad: What do you think about the crisis in the Middle East?
Annie: Princess sing-along's.
Dad: Ok, this is ridiculous. It's unreadable. The whole point, Ann, is to let the audience get to know you and to spare them from the usual tripe that I write. Now, let's try this again. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
Annie: Chock let eye cream
Maggie: My turn!
Annie: Shhhh. Be quiet.
Dad: Ok, we're going to pick this up some other time.
Annie: Some other time.
Maggie: Dad ax my question
Dad: Ok, what are you going to do today
Annie: Chock let eye cream cone! (Annie runs away)
Maggie: In thirty hours I going to go to school.
Dad: Two weeks I think.
Maggie: Oh. Um, yep. Watch this dad. (Annie walks by in a pair of Regis's shoes)
Dad: Tell everyone bye.
Maggie: Bye!
Annie: Ga Bye!

XXXIV: The Bear

Greetings and salutations. It's been awhile since we've written, which means that I am working too much. While my employer, and every single person on this mailing list, is happy about this, it has grown a little tiring. And it is always troubling when your children ask you to provide ID when they spot you in the kitchen on Saturday morning.

First, some housekeeping. We will be providing an interview with Annie very soon, I promise. She is not the poor, picked-on, youngest child. We've just been busy. Doing what, you say? Well I'm glad you asked!

Since we last left you, we've had quite an interesting few weeks. In fact, my entire immediate family (with the exception of much-missed Sister Mary Grace) was in the Watson house over the weekend. Yes, that's right, Mom, Dad, Joan, Jill, Patrick, and George all came to visit us and we had a great time. The weather was perfect, and we all survived a trip to the city on Sunday. Central Park and the World Trade Center site were the two focal points of the visit, with a stop in between at the building where I work. While that doesn't sound interesting, I'm sure, it provided some quick relaxation in-between hectic stops. My mom amazed us all by walking several miles on her new titanium knee. Incredible stuff, and I think we were all more tired than she. Annie seemed the least tired, which may have been attributable to the ice cream that her sucker-father bought her as well the fact that she spent most of the miles riding on shoulders of that same sucker. My favorite part was when she was drinking PowerAde while riding on my shoulders and feeling it run off her chin and down the back of my head and down my shirt. Awesome. Unfortunately, one thing we did not accomplish while everyone was visiting was seeing the bear.

Yes, that’s right, the bear. About two weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk in the World Financial Center in Lower Manhattan. Why do I add these irrelevant facts? Because it is the last place in the world that I expected to receive an instant message, from the house I had just left an hour ago, that said "there is a bear in our front yard." My account is admittedly secondhand, since I was in the middle of the financial district when Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom started holding auditions in my front yard. I called Regis right away and got the details. As I understand it, Maggie and Jimmy were playing in the window sill of the large picture window that looks out into the front yard. Why do they like to play up there, I don’t know. We have a basement full of toys, and they want to play in a narrow window sill. Anyway, Regis was drying her hair in the bathroom when Jimmy yelled "Mom, there's a bear in our yard." Regis, not sure that she was really hearing those words, paused for a moment. That's when Maggie came into the bathroom and said "Mom, there's a bear in our yard." Now, I will spare the psychoanalysis about the female of the species not listening to the male of the species but somehow hearing, recognizing, and acknowledging the exact same words from the female of the species. No, I won't do that. That would be wrong (especially since the male of the species does not hear, recognize, or acknowledge the words of either male or female, unless it's about sports or food). Regis rushed out to the window in time to see the bear wandering up the hill to the neighbor's yard. She estimated the bear's size at around 300 pounds. She called 911 and animal control. In both cases, she was informed that there would be no response unless the bear had harmed someone. When she astutely asked what the response would be if it were a dog or cat, they said "oh, we'd send someone right away." Refreshing. She was also informed that if she confronted the bear while outside, she should bang some pots and pans to scare it off. So, if you see a woman with the "Williams-Sonoma pots & pans key chain" you will know that is Regis.

That's all for now. Look for the interview with Annie as soon as I have recovered from the visit from the family and work lets up. In other words, just in time for Thanksgiving.

Hope all is well.