XVII: Rainy Day Theater

Greetings from the Northeast on a beautiful autumn day. Autumn is so wonderful, with the crisp air, the smell of burning leaves, the bright sun reflecting off the colorful leaves....ok, that's all a lie. It's been raining here for the past 72 hours. And by rain, I don't mean gentle mist, or light drizzle. I mean deluge. I mean I'm quite certain that anything resembling "my yard" has since slid toward the Hudson. This wonderful weather came just in time for the arrival of Jimmy, Maggie, and Annie's grandparents, Oma and Opa. I'm certain that Oma and Opa would've enjoyed seeing Jimmy's football game (cancelled), Maggie and Annie playing in the park (now underwater, right next to Atlantis), or jumping in the leaves with Regis (not that Regis jumps in piles of leaves in the yard, but I wanted to include everyone and isn't that an outstanding visual).

So, the rains kept us indoors and what better way to spend the time than to take in some...television! That's right, remember the days of the pioneers, when the elements forced the families inside and they would gather round the fire and watch the latest episode of "Survivor: Chisholm Trail" and "Extreme Makeover: Barn Edition." Anyway, with a number of college and pro football games to choose from, I was confident we could pass the time watching "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus." And I was right.

We own two Barbie movies now, "Barbie on Swan Lake," and "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus," which is known as "Barbie Magic" in our house. I prefer "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus" because it is available in 3-D. They even provided four pairs of 3-D glasses. The initial viewing sounded like this:

Jimmy: "Cool, those rocks are coming right at us!"
Me: "How cool is that? Why aren't more movies in 3-D"
Maggie: "Barbie Magic!"
Regis: "My glasses don't work"

Because only four pairs were available, and there are 5 of us, Annie was unhappy and the arguments over the glasses escalated into something resembling the occupation of the West Bank. So, we elected to hide the glasses and opt for 2-D viewing only.

In fairness to those of you that wish to take in this classic on your own time, you should skip to the next paragraph. But for the rest of you dying to know about this movie, here's essentially how it goes. Barbie does not play the role of Barbie, but rather of Annika, the princess of some Nordic looking place. Wenlock, the evil sorcerer wishes for "Annika" be his bride. Sixteen years earlier, he unsuccessfully attempted to woo Annika's older sister Brianna, before being rebuffed and turning her into a winged horse. This time, Wenlock turns the villagers into stone, except for Annika, of course. He vows to make their condition permanent if, in three days, Annika has not agreed to be his bride. Naturally, at this moment Annika is rescued by the flying Brianna, (who has yet to be revealed as the sister), and flies her to the cloud kingdom. There, they consult with the cloud queen on how to defeat the evil Wenlock. As you have already guessed, this will involve a journey to the Forbidden Forest to find a gem, a ring, and staff, all in order to construct a wand of light. They befriend Aiden, a young man in the middle of a prodigal son subplot, who helps them on this quest. In the process, Annika is briefly imprisoned by a giant, which was a bit confusing, and seemed to be an attempt at setting a record for most fairy tales incorporated into a 90 minute show. There are a few showdowns with Wenlock and eventually they break the spells that he cast. I think. Actually, I have no idea. A lot of that kind of resolution type stuff I missed because during the 142 times I've had a chance to see the ending, one of three things happened. One, I am able to sneak out of the room to wherever Regis is and she can give me updates on the football games that she has been watching (seriously, who wears the pants in this family). Two, we get "bored" with "Barbie Magic" and end up doing a puzzle, coloring, or playing "horsey." I'm perfectly fine with this option, believe me. Three, sleep sets in. I'm fine with this option as well, though it is not popular among my constituents. One of these days, I will see the end and let you know how it turns out.

Our television viewing choices felt further stress this weekend because of the Notre Dame football team having a week off. We did watch the Ohio State-Penn State game, during which I commented that Joe Paterno guiding his team to victory reminded me a bit of El Cid. Regis asked what El Cid was and I explained the emotional end of the movie, in which the dead general was strapped to his horse and "led" his troops into battle. She responded "oh, like Weekend at Bernie's." I'm quite certain this is the first time in recorded history that these things have been associated in conversation.

That's all for now. I'm sure I've forgotten something, because as you know, the best stories often go untold.

XVI: Are you ready for some (flag) football?

It's been awhile since a formal introduction of a new member to the mailing list (rumor has it the number of readers who are not "on the list" is growing silently through mass distribution). So today it gives me great pleasure to welcome my cousin Adam Sullivan, who has the 2nd coolest middle name in the world (Aloysius).

Not much has been going on lately, which is of course a lie. Since I last emailed you, Jimmy and Maggie have hit the scholastic year in full swing, Regis has driven back and forth from their school enough to force Morris County to consider renaming part of the roadway in her honor, Annie taught herself Euclidean geometry while riding in the car, and Regis re-painted our kitchen. Okay, one of those things didn't happen.

What have I done? Well, that's a good question. Regis asks me that a lot. And I say, "Lots of stuff." I mean, you don't think Notre Dame is winning these games by themselves do you? I didn't think so. My fantasy football team is also doing well, and that doesn't just happen on its own. So, in short, I've been VERY busy. Speaking of fantasy football, here are some statistics for you: one fumble recovery, one tackle, and one carry for a 30 yard touchdown. Well, in fantasy football that would get you about 9 points, I think. But, more importantly, those stats would make you the best football player in the Watson family household. That's right, those are the stats from Jimmy's first game with the "Cowboys," which was a five-touchdown throttling of the "Jets." Jimmy played halfback, outside linebacker, and nose tackle. The next game is this Saturday against the "Patriots" and should feature some more "chaos." Jimmy and I also attended the recent Giants-Rams (NFL, not flag football) game. While it didn't feature Peyton Manning, getting to see Eli was the next best thing.

Maggie is doing well and is quite the young scholar. She loves school and three days a week she can't wait to see her teachers, Mrs. "Yong" (Long) and Mrs. "McCourtney" (McCourtney). The first couple of days were a little tearful, but it didn't take long to realize that school was way cooler than hanging out with Mom (no offense, Regis). Annie came to this realization much sooner than her older sister, and was quite irritated on the first day when informed that she was not the one staying. In fact, I think Annie is already filling out applications for colleges far from home.

Annie also likes to push her father's buttons. Sometimes in a near-literal sense. During the second quarter of the Notre Dame-Washington game, Annie was up to her usual quiet mayhem, walking in and out of the family room and doing so undetected. That is until she casually walked up to the TV, right as Brady Quinn dropped back to pass, and turned it off, then walked into the kitchen. Needless to say there was much yelling and confusion...and giggling by the little one. She also, unlike her two older siblings, likes light switches. She carries a stool around the house, parks under a light switch, climbs up, and begins the fun game of "on/off." With every flip, she yells "Hey" as if part of a Gary Glitter song. She is quite pleased with herself.

That's all for now, hopefully I haven't left out anything major. Oma and Opa are coming to visit this weekend, so the kids will be fired up for sure. Of course, with no offense intended to my in-laws, my kids tend to get fired up on oxygen.

Take care.