Chicago, Vol III

NAPERVILLE, IL (AP) -- The Red Cross continues its efforts to restore order and clean drinking water to 846 Raintree, days after the massive devastation and destruction of another "Mom needs a weekend away." It was upon returning from a four-day recess, spent visiting friends in the New York/New Jersey metroplex, that the [lovely and talented] Mrs. Watson initiated the call to Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Mr. Blagojevich, more famously known as the 2nd pick of the Pacers in the 1984 NBA Draft, enlisted the help of Rep. Dennis Hastert, former Speaker of the House, who represents Illinois's 14th Congressional District, a gerrymandered portion of which includes a Vatican City sized piece of DuPage County. However, neither was able to entice the President to declare the site a disaster area. While the Administration said such use of the word cheapened the plight of previous victims of natural disasters, such insistence came as shock to Mrs. Watson, who seemed to imply that the situation met its very definition. Her charge was buoyed by three of her compatriots from the illustrious NASUGLI, Naperville Association of Socializing Under the Guise of Literary Inquiries, all of whom used the very term to describe the condition of the Watson family environs while under the direction of Mrs. Watson's spouse (who was unavailable for comment).........

Ok, well it wasn't quite that dramatic or troublesome, but Regis did spend a weekend away in New York [Jersey] and the kids had me all to themselves for four fun-filled days last weekend. On Thursday, as I tucked the kids in, I asked them what they wanted to do during our time.
Maggie: "Let's make a chocolate pie!!!"
Jimmy: "I want to carve a pumpkin for Halloween"
Annie: "Let's ride alligators!"
Annie's recent parent-teacher conference went surprisingly well, I might add. Here's to low expectations. She is doing well in school, to be serious for a moment, and she has learned things like counting to thirty, the names of colors, and opposites. She and I had this exchange recently.
Me: "Annimal, how was school today?"
Annie: "Today we learned opposites!"
Me: "Can you teach me some opposites?"
Annie: "Yes. Up [points to sky, followed by dramatic pause], Down [points to ground]."
Me: "That's great. What is the opposite of tall?"
Annie: "Up [points to sky again, followed by another dramatic pause], Down [points to ground]."

With the weekend plans set, we egressed to Meijer, the Merikan wonderland where one can buy onions, a snow tire, Windex, and a pair of pants. We did not buy those things, but did purchase the ingredients for pumpkin and chocolate pie (separate pies, don't worry...the first paragraph was for effect, I promise), as well as rubber gloves for pumpkin carving. If that last item confuses you, you have never carved a pumpkin.

The kids helped with both pies, if you include consumption of ingredients, and both turned out well. The pumpkin carving yielded no injuries and after four hours of vacuuming (in anticipation of Mom's return Monday), I think all the pumpkin seeds were picked up. Though I did find one this morning during breakfast.

Halloween was once again a festive occasion, though a little different this year as a result of our new neighborhood. I caught the early train home and made to the house by 430. It was still light out, but my punctuality was for naught. Annie and Maggie had already filled a bag of candy and the neighborhood was swarming with trick-or-treaters. My personal favorite was a neighbor dressed as the Burger King. Jimmy and the older kids headed out (for a 2nd round) at 530 with Dads leading the way (pulling two wagons loaded with provisions legalized by the 21st Amendment). At 730, having traversed much of the neighborhood, I noticed Jimmy was dragging his pillowcase/candybag. I told him to pick it up lest it rip and he whined that he couldn't carry it. Being a "Dad" I had to see for myself and sure enough it was heavy. Using two different approaches (weighing the bag by itself, and also weighting Jimmy then Jimmy with the bag), the scale gave us the objective confirmation - 35.9 pounds of candy.